In An Onyx Sky
by Gute Zeiten
Summary: Things at Hogwarts have changed, and it reflects on the students...but will love PREVAIL, shining over the darkness in an oNyX sKy ? Will have 15 chapters....GOTH DRACO/GOTH HERMIONE!
1. I Always Needed Change

A/N: Okay guys...welcome to _In An Onyx Sky_...my first ever project that I'm working on to make 20 chapters+...I really hope everyone is along for the ride...thank you...this idea is very original...but I do not own the world of Hogwarts or anything J.K. Rowling has written...thank you for taking time to read this...and now...the first chapter of _In An Onyx Sky_.

Prepare for the shocking twists...:)

Hermione Granger sat on her bed in her muggle house. She had just finished packing for the trip to the Burrow, a cozy home of the Weasleys. she smiled to herself, Thinking of Harry and Ron and her friends at Hogwarts. However her heart sunk low in her chest thinking of the gruesomeness that happened last year...a single tear fell down her face thinking about the dark events. Draco Malfoy, who she secretly crushed on, would not be returning because he tried to kill Dumbledore. She sighed.

Ever since then she had dressed in all black in mourning. The day after Hogwarts was over she went to the muggle malls with the muggle money she got for her birthday. She went into stores like Oracle and Tripp, and bought very tight black skirts and tight black blouses. She bought a large trench coat and an army fatigue coat, and black combat boots. She went to the salon and got a blue-black hair dye that made her hair smooth down. She also got long bangs that made her look pretty. She went to the counter at the mall and had a woman do her makeup very dark and teach her how to do it.

Hermione stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. She had changed so much. Her figure was very slim, but she was very well endowed. It was perfect. She wore a black velvet corset top, a short black skirt that showed off her legs, black fishnet stockings, and a pair of knee-high lace-up platform boots in matte black. Her hair was still blue black with a streak of red in it for Gryffindor pride, and her makeup was shimmery black eyeshadow with thick black eyeliner. Her lips were shiny and ruby, and her teeth were straight white and perfect. She looked very pretty yet sad and dark.

"Honey, are you all ready to travel?" called Hermione's mother, Kate, from downstairs. Hermione could just hear her through the door. "Yes, I'm coming." Hermione yelled back. She wiped her messy black tear away from her face and grabbed all four of her bags, which were featherlight due to magic she conjoured on them at Hogwarts. then she opened her door and stepped down the stairs, combat boots clunking on them...her mother and father stood by the fireplace in the living room. A bag of floo powder was on the mantle.

"Ready, honey?" Hermione nodded and weakly smiled. Her mother kissed her on the head and her dad did the same and hugged her. Hermione put one of her bags down, took some floo powder, threw it into the fire. It sparked an emerald green. Then she took her bag again.

"Bye," she whispered sullenly to her parents. "The Burrow," she declared loudly at the fire. Then she jumped into it.

Coughing, Hermione stepped out of the fire, blinking a few times.

"Hermione!" Ginny yelled happily, running to her. Then Ginny's face was very confused. Ginny was the only one in the room. "Hermione, why is your hair all black?" I think you got soot in your hair!" Ginny patted her hair, only to find it was her new color. "Is that you, Hermione?"

Hermione looked very odd in the cozy living room of the Burrow, as she had changed. "Yes Ginny, it's me." She dropped her bags. The fire's green color went out. Ginny took a look at her.

"Wow, Hermione!"

Hermione weakly smiled and hugged Ginny. "Where is everyone?"

"Well, Harry and Ron are practicing Quidditch...they should be back in five minutes or so. Bill is with Fleur. Charlie is around and staying in Percy's old room...and Fred and George are setting up their new small store in Hogsmeade." Ginny smiled, but still looked Hermione over. "I really like your outfit."

"Thanks. Listen, let's take my stuff up to your room." Hermione said. Ginny nodded and they both picked up two bags, then brought the bags upstairs. When they got to Ginny's room, they dropped it at the foot of the bed Hermione would be taking. Some of the bags opened, revealing Hermione's wardrobe.

"Wow...your clothes are...gorgeous." Ginny blushed and looked down at her hand-me-down clothing that had been her brother Ron's. Hermione stared very hard at Ginny, and smiled, then closed the door. She quickly brought out all of her makeup and hairsupplies, then her muggle clothing which didn't fit her and would be just right for Ginny.

An hour later...

Ginny looked just as gorgeous as Hermione. She was wearing a black zip-up hoodie with maroon-and-black striped sleeves, a canvas black pleated skirt that showed off her black fishnet stockings, and short black combat boots Hermione didn't want. Hermione had done her hair in a side part and made it wavy, but kept it red, and did her makeup with shimmering black eyeshadow and black eyeliner.

"GINNY!" yelled Ron from downstairs. Ginny stopped looking at herself in the mirror.

"COMING!" yelled Ginny. She smiled wanly at Hermione, and they both ran downstairs.

"Gin--" Ron stopped in mid-sentence. "What the bloody hell's happened to your clothes? And your face?"

Harry's mouth gaped open at Ginny's sexy outfit, and then Hermione's, and then Ginny's again.

"Call me Evra," Ginny said.

"And I'm Ione." Said Hermione in a sexy tone.

Harry and Ron both stared, wide-eyed and mouths open at Hermione. Her black velvet corset enhanced her bust and slimmed her waistline.

"Well, boys...hungry?" Ione flipped her hair.

"Uhh..."

_Wow...she looks really...really...sexy_. Thought Ron, staring at Hermione, starting to drool.

However, Hermione would never be interested in Ron...or would she? She and Ginny sauntered off to the kitchen. Harry and Ron looked like they'd just got off the Quidditch field. They started to cook hamburgers, hot dogs, and french fries. Ginny started baking an apple pie in the oven.

"Blimey," croaked Ron.

After they were done cooking, everyone sat down and ate. Ron could not stop staring at Hermione, Ione, from across the table. Harry couldn't stop looking at Ginny.

Just then, Arthur and Molly arrived. They did not seem surprised to see Ginny and Hermione different looking at all. They understood why. However Arthur was worried.

"Mollaywobbles," he whispered to Molly, "aren't you concerned?"

"Oh, nonsense, my dear Arthurballz," she whispered to Arthur, "it's just a phase."

Or was it? Arthur opened his mouth to whisper again, but four owls flew in their house with letters! Hermione opened hers quickly, as did the others. She tossed her book list aside, and gasped at the letter that came with it.

_Dear Hermione Granger,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been named Head Girl of the Seventh Year at Hogwarts. You will be representing Gryffindor. The Head Boy of the Seventh Year is Draco Malfoy._

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Hermioned screamed loudly at her letter. She fell onto the floor. The others quickly scrambled over to the letter to read it.

"DRACO MALFOY!" yelled Harry, Ron, Ginny, Arthur, and Molly at the same time.

"BUT HE TRIED TO KILL DUMBLEDORE!" shouted Harry.

"How is he even going to set foot in the school without getting hexed five thousand times!" yelled Ron.

"How is he going to go to classes without getting his face kicked in?" screeched Ginny.

"How is he going to share a large common room with Hermione?" squealed Molly.

"How are we going to cope with this!" cried Arthur.

However, Hermione, who lay on the floor, rejoiced inside. She had loved Draco Malfoy ever since she saw him...things were going to get interesting.

A/N: Well...the next chapter gets REALLY interesting! The Weasleys all come home at one point (except for Percy), and we go back to Hogwarts!


	2. I Always Loved Him

A/N: Hey guys...welcome to chapter 2 of In An Onyx Sky. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter...things are about to get interesting:)

---------------------------------------------

It was a cloudly downcast day in London, in Diagon Alley. Ever since the death of Dumbledore, everyone had been very sullen and forlorn. Nobody smiled or was happy about life. It drizzled slightly, but Hermione and Ginny persueded Molly to cast anti-frizzing charms on their hair and anti-ruining spells on their makeup. It was perfect. They bought their books, and supplies, and sexy ebony robes. Harry and Ron and Ginny were worried about Draco, but Hermione was secretly elated. They returned to the Burrow to eat before the big day tomorrow.

They all ate Big Macs and supersized fries with large cups of Coke and talked about Draco returning. Nothing else mattered to them.

"He's evil! How could they let him in the school?" Ron said angrily, chomping the Big Mac.

"Well...maybe he changed." Hermione said coolly.

All eyes and heads turned to Hermione.

"He--you--you can't be serious, Hermione."

She sighed. "I guess not."

Everyone resumed their chatter.

o0o0o

That night, Hermione could not sleep. She was itching to get on the Hogwarts Express and sit in the Head Compartment with Draco. She was tossing and turning, and even tried taking a sleep poition recommended by Molly, but it was expired because the Weasleys are poor. She sighed loudly.

"Hermione"

"Ginny, you're awake?"

"Yes."

"Wuddup?"

"Well, I was just wondering...well. This might sound a little crazy."

"What is it?"

"Well...were you defending Malfoy at dinner?"

Hermione blushed, but Ginny couldn't see her in the darkness. "Me, defend MALFOY?"

"I know, it's crazy. Just forget I asked."

"Okay."

There was silence.

"Ginny?"

"Yeah?

"I can tell you anything, right?"

And Hermione told Ginny. Ginny gasped.

"But...Hermione! He called you Mudblood! He tried to kill Dumbly-dorr! He hates my family...he hates you. He hates muggle-borns and blood traitors."

"But he's hot, Ginny."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense."

Ginny giggled and painted Hermione's nails and talked about her new crush.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The Hogwarts Express. Hermione had been waiting for this day since she got the letter. As soon as she ran through the wall with her trolley, all eyes were on her. That day she was wearing a foxy gothic black dress and lace-up knee high boots. Her makeup was the same as before. Everyone stared. Some people drooled.

"Who's the hot new witch?" "Who's the hot new bitch?" "Why is she hanging out with Harry, Ron, and Ginny?" "It couldn't be Hermione Granger." "It is!"

People whispered and gasped. Hermione looked around for one particular blonde Slytherin, but she didn't see him. She sighed and boarded the train with her friends after saying goodbye to Molly and Arthur, then darted for the Head Compartment. She held her breath, butterflies in her stomach, as she saw a head of blonde hair through the little clear part of the compartment door. She opened it and closed it carefully.

However, there was a large man sitting next to Draco. He rivaled Hagrid's stature. He immideately stood up and started to pat down Hermione and check her belongings with his wand.

"What is your purpose?" he gruffly growled at her in a mean way.

"I'm the Head Girl." She was trembling and shaking. Not because of the man, but because of Draco. Draco gaped at her.

"Hermione Grangah?"

"I prefer Ione." She tried to compose herself, breathing in and out, and sat down across from Draco, staring into his silver eyes. He looked out the window and bit his thumb, then started cursing.

"I FUCKING RUINED MY MANICURE! FUCK!"

Hermione winced at him. He burst into tears. The heavy man stared blankly ahead.

"I spent fifty fucking dollars on this. Now it's ruined, all ruined." He continued to cry, tears rolling down his pallid cheeks, affecting his heavy mascara. "What does a FLOWER smell like?"

"Um...what?" Hermione asked, deeply confused.

"What does a FLOWER smell like? Oh, my GOD." He began to wail. "Just tell me. Tell me!"

"Well...they all smell...flower...y?"

"Oh my GOD, that's not the answer I WANTED." He wiped away his tears and sniffled slightly, still looking out the window. Then he giggled and turned to Hermione.

"You look fabulous."

Hermione blushed and looked at her shoes. "Thanks, Malfoy, you look great too."

Malfoy made a noise of disgust. "Yeah, puh-leez, yeah, okay, whatever."

"Oh, I bought this for you." Hermione smiled and pulled out a muggle disposable camera and handed it to Malfoy. "I thought you might like it." She yawned, feeling sleepy, as he examined it and read the directions.

"Uh, thanks." The large man grabbed it and sniffed it, then broke it. Hermione frowned.

"Oh, Chester, you're such an oaf. By the way, this is Chester, my life partner. He's a total klutz."

Hermione looked surprised. "Life...partner?"

"Yeah, you know, like my husband." Chester opened his mouth to protest, but Draco slammed his hand into his mouth before he could get a word out. "Oh, Chester! I forgot about this dream I had about you. You were wearing a suit...and your hair was all ruffled by the wind or something, and you looked so cute...just really hot. You were waiting for me in the train station...and then...you gave me a flower. And we were happy..." Draco sighed contentedly, leaning onto Chester. "Just so happy."

Hermione's bottom lip trembled. She grabbed her wand and started slashing her wrists with it...everything went black...

o0o0o0o0o

Hermione blinked and opened her eyes. It was blurry again, but after blinking again she could see. Harry kneeled over her, checking her pulse. Ginny and Ron's nervous faces were also seen by Hermione. Shaking her head, she sat up.

"W-what happened?"

"Hermione...you were walking into the Head Compartment and you walked right into the door without opening it," said Harry, frowning. "Do you feel okay?"

"I'm FINE," Hermione snapped. She leapt to her feet, feeling dizzy, and opened the door and slammed it closed. The compartment was spacious, with a large window and comfortable seats. However, the sight of the beautiful boy staring out the window took her breath away. His jawline, his milky, smooth skin...his grey eyes. However, his hair was pitch black...

"D-Draco?"


	3. I Always Tried To Die

The beautiful boy turned and looked at her with those beautiful grey eyes. He looked her up and down, and spoke softly, almost hurt and bruised.

"Hermione..." he said in an almost whisper. "Is that...you?"

"Yes," she said, her voice at the same volume. Her heart was beating so hard that she swore he could hear it, but if he did he did not show it. "I go by Ione now."

He nodded, and she slid into her seat, across from him. How she longed to reach out for him, hold his hand, and tell him everything was going to be better again...all of a sudden, out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry, Ron, and Ginny peering in. They immidiately walked off.

"You dyed your hair," Hermione said.

Draco nodded. "I...looked too much like my father. I wanted a change."

"So you're not like him?" Hermione asked, nervous.

"Of course I'm not." A tear rolled down his face, and he continued to look out the window. The rest of the trip was silent.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

When they arrived at Hogwarts, it was their job to go to the Great Hall and sit at the front table. So they did, wordlessly. The Great Hall was empty at that point, and they both walked down the long path to the table silently. They both took their seats and waited...waited...waited...

Hermione was wearing a sexy leather corset, a micro-mini black skirt, ripped black fishnet stockings and sexy knee-high black leather boots that laced up in the front and had a four-inch stiletto heel. Barely covering her was the school's regulation black robe. Her hair, black, pin straight and long, fell over her shoulders and her eyes were rimmed with black eyeliner and mascara. Her eyes were swept with a dark plum eyeshadow. Draco cleared his throat and tried to ignore her appearance. He was wearing long black sweeping ropes of pure ebony and had worn mascara. Satin

All the students flooded in, and so did the teachers. Everyone stared at Draco. It was mindboggling, and almost nobody ate, because they were all scared Draco was going to turn them into frogs and invite Voldemort into the building .At one point, a student stood up and threw his Happy Meal at Draco. As Draco sobbed, Hermione could not bring herself to hold his hand as she longed to do all her life. Neither ate their food.

They walked together, but five feet apart, to their new shared dormitory. When the opened the door on the count of three as the door recognized their hands, they were greeted by a lucious palace with a waterfall. Everything was painted black except for dark violet detailing. Hermione ran into her room, labelled HERMIONE in big letters, and threw herself onto the giant bed. It was gorgoeus. The ponly thing was...as Hermione blinked her large eyes outlined in black, she could hear Draco sobbing. Sighing, she took her MP3 player out of her bag and walked slowly to his room, orbs shining.

"..Draco?" she walked into his room without knocking. It was handsome, and the decor matched the rest of the luxurious palace. "Draco, where are you?"

The gorgeous boy lay on his bed, crying, tears running down his face in a black mess that contrasted with his alabaster skin. "I'm here, Ione."

Hermione smiled briefly before putting on her frown and walking to his bed. Heart beating like a rabbit, she sat down next to him and stared at him with her lucious, beautiful face. "I brought you something."

"Oh..." Draco slowly sat up and scooted next to Hermione. "What is it?"

"Well, it's muggle music...something called...Marilyn Manson." Draco nodded and smiled slightly before frowning again. He wiped his tears. "Yes...my muggle family's son listens to him."

Hermione gasped. "Muggle family?"

"Yes...after my father was convicted they found my mother was guilty, too, and for my punishment since I'm a minor they placed me with a muggle family..." his bottom lip trembled and his pallid hand instantly moved to his right side, near his hip. He winced.

"Draco, what's wrong? You look like you're in pain..."

He burst out in tears. Hermione threw her fishneted arm around him. "Oh, Draco, what's up with you? You're totally depressed."

"H-H-Hermione...my muggle family...beats me..." as Hermione gasped he raised his satin shirt to show large bruises and welts all over his body. "H-h-help me..."

As Hermione hugged him, she heard footsteps and a voice calling, "Ione?"

Ginny walked into Draco's room, catching them in midembrace. She gasped and ran out, robes flying behind her.

"Oh no. Evra!" Ione called, running off. "Evra!"

But Ginny left. sadly, Hermione walked off to her room and began to cut herself with her wand. Everything went black...

oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Blinking, Hermione blinked. She blinked again. Ginny, Harry, and Ron all were sitting by her. Hermione moaned, "Oh...please make it real..."

"She's awake," someone said.

"I want it to be real..." she moaned.

"Hermione, you've been out cold for a week...they found you lying in a pool of your own blood in your dormitory."

She sat up instantly. "Who found me?!"

"Well, Drac--"

"Where is he?!"

"Hermione...he died, dude."

Hermione looked at her arms, scarless and perfect. She grabbed a razor from her bedside and slahed herwrists down the street. Her friends started screaming for Madam Pomfrey while Harry attempted to take the razor from her hand.

Everything went black...

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"Hermione!"

She blinked, and began to cry. "I JUST WANT TO DIE! IF DRACO ISN'T IN THIS WORLD..."

"What are you talking about? asked Ron. "Draco is in the dormitory."

"Oh." Hermione sat up. "How long have I been here?"

"A week...you were found with a lot of blood missing. Hermione...we're all worried about you."

About fifty Gryffindors walked out from behind a curtain.

"You can't keep hurting yourself, Hermione...we love you and you're scaring us."

"I can do whatever the hell I WANT," screeched Hermione. She stood up, summoned her sexy clothes, and charmed them on herself at lightening speed. She walked out of the hospital wing, 4-inch stiletto heels clicking."

"Dude, the carpet like, totally doesn't match the drapes."

"Um...she had a Brazilian wax. You're like, a total idiot, dude."

Hermione ran, her mind spinning. She could hear Madam Pomfrey yelling after her and her friends chasing her, but she did not stop and let them take her. Anxiously, she ran to the secret passageway to the dormitory. "Cliche!" she yelled out, eagerly, to the portrait. It opened and she ran in, ran past the luxurious waterfall, and to Draco's room. The door was closed. Without knocking, she opened it and walked in.

The beautiful Drake lay in his bed, eyes closed, fast asleep. His chest rose slowly. As Hermione neared him, he blinked and opened his eyes, then sat up. He was wearing a dark silver satin button-up shirt and black silk boxers. "Ione? You're b-back?"

"Yes, I'm here. Did you...visit me at all? In the hospital wing?"

"Hermione...when I saw you lying in the pool of blood, I...tried to kill myself." He held up his arms and pulled back his sleeves, his gorgeous black hair falling in front of his alabaster complexion. His manly tone and perfect Quiddith-borne muscles rippled under the shirt, and he looked mature.

"Draco," she said, eyes filling with tears. She shook her beautiful head. "We have to tell someone about this...about your Muggle family hurting you. We have to tell Dumbledore, even Madam Pomfrey..."

"IONE," he yelled angrily, his beautiful face contorting in anger. She jumped, and he took his alarm clock and threw it against the wall. It shattered. "I'm fine...Ione...I'm not going back to them after I graduate. I intend to move into Malfoy Manor..." he stared at the floor. All of a sudden, a lifelike shape began to move under the covers of his bed. Ione, her face contorted in confusion, looked on.

Pansy Parkinson popped her face out of the covers and sexily draped her arm over her waist. "Draco, whatever was that loud noise?"

"No," Hermione whispered, her eyes filling up with tears. Everything was blurred. "No."

"Hermione, I can explain--" he glared at Pansy. "Pansy--"

"How long?" Hermione said, staring directly into his warm, apologetic gaze with her tear stricken chocolate brown soft almond shaped eyes. "How long, Draco?"

"Hermione...I didn't know...I...--"

"HOW LONG?!" she demanded, tears spilling down her face in a black mess. Her pretty, silky black hair was a mess, and she longed to slash her wrists with her wand, but she knew the old wounds would just reopen. "How...long"

"A week...it's been a week." Draco couldn't bring himself to look at her. Hermione, sobbing, started to run to the door, but Draco grabbed his wand instinctively and froze her. Hermione stood with her back to him, unable to move.

"Hermione, listen to me. It's not what you think. I haven't been sleeping with Pansy...she's my tutor...she got me drunk on Firewhiskey and she's been...raping me, Hermione." His eyes filled with tears. "She gets me drunk of Firewhiskey and uses...the Crutasius...curse." He broke down into sobs and unfroze Hermione. "Go...if you must..."

Pansy smirked and patted the bed. Hermione, tears streaming, walked out slowly, but turned around and said, "Draco..."

"Yes?" he said eagerly, in a rush.

"You're dead to me."

Slam. The door closed with a sickening noise like a gunshot. Draco sank onto his bed and covered his face with his hands.


	4. I Always Went Back

"Would you die tonight for love?" The Muggle music asked Hermione repeatedly, Smelly Valo's warbling semi-falsetto tones encapsulating the raven-haired beauty as she lay in her black satin sheets, alone, untouched, running her fingers over the scars that covered her pallid arms. She had been playing the music at quite a loud volume for hours, crying into pillows until she could not cry anymore, eyes swollen, voice tired from crying out against the music. Draco and she had not spoken for a week. He tried to speak to her, but every time he did, she cast a Muffilato spell and slammed her door shut, rendering it so it could not be unlocked.

During a small break in the music, sulky Ione heard a loud bang at the front door. Sighing, she got up, charmed the music to play a little lower, drew black satin robes around herself, and walked to the front door, opening it. In front of her stood Severus Snape, simply staring at her with his midnight black eyes and long, silken onyx hair that fell in front of his face. His skin was chalk white, and Hermione almost blushed, noting he looked quite handsome and like the muggle music superstar, Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.

"Head Girl Granger. May I...enter?"

She nodded, stepping aside. He walked in, looking brisk.

"Headmistress MacFuckagal has sent me here to tell you that she wishes you wear your Hogwarts _uniform_, and not the disturbingly inappropriate muggle clothes, to class. Any other time...the clothes are fine."

Ione just stared up at him, his statuesque height making her weak in the knees. How could she have never noticed before--a gothic prince at Hogwarts?

"Y-yes, Professor Snape," she stuttered, then felt immediately insecure. Her voice was crackly, her hair a mess, mascara coating her face from her crying.

"I would also like to note, your...apptitude...seems to be declining, Miss Granger. Your grades are slipping dangerously low. Why, you never have recieved anything less than a Muggle American standard A-. I must ask, what is troubling you? As Head Girl, you are expected to be a stellar student. Has something...happened to you, Miss Granger?"

"Call me Ione," she whispered. The pair stared at eachother for moments.

"Ione," he said in a low tone she had never heard before. "Ione."

So close. So close...the two ravens leaned in, Snape preparing to kiss his one true love, a goddess of epic goth proportions...

At that very moment, Draco walked in. He gasped, silver orbs shining.

"P-professor! I-Ione!" The pair broke apart at once.

The professor, flustered, stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Draco simply stared after him, mouth agape, and then turned to Ione, eyes re-filling with new tears she had no idea she could create, as she was kind of dehydrated and craved a Dasani.

"You...slut. You deceitful charlatan...you tramp!" Draco cursed her, yelling insults that sent her exploding into insults at him.

"YOU were the one who slept with Pansy Parkinson!" Hermione screamed, her voice raw.

"I TOLD YOU! SHE RAPED ME! I HATE PANSY! I QUITE FANCIED YOU, HERMIONE!"

"What?" Hermione whispered. Draco's pallid cheeks tinged red.

"Hermione...I...I love you. Ione. I love you."

"Oh, Draco," Ione sighed. "Draco, I love you, too. More than you will ever know."

The two stepped towards eachother. So close, so close...

The door opened, startling both Hermione and Draco. It was Ron, standing there in all his red-haired fury, clutching his wand angrily.

"Hermione!" He yelled. "Don't even tell me. You--and Draco--dude, that's totally disgusting!"

Draco drew his wand, pointing it at Ron. "Don't you dare talk to my precious queen like that, you...mundane...normal...boring...Weasley," he sneered. "You have no business here, Ron."

"I've come here to kick some sense into Hermione," Ron yelled, storming into the room. "Hermione, Harry and I are your best friends. We always have been! Why are you doing this? What's all this black?" He motioned wildly to her clothing. "The hair? The makeup? What the hell is your problem, Hermione?! You're failing all your classes. You haven't had any awkward moments with me in a month!"

Ione started, but Ron kept yelling.

"Come on. We're supposed to end up married with two kids! You can't be Goth. I've just seen SNAPE leaving this dormitory. Snape! What were you doing with him? He had a boner the size of Kansas, Hermione! So you're a goth AND a tease!"

Hermione began to break into tears. She grabbed her wand, preparing to slice her pale flesh again...

"I don't think so," Ron yelled. "Petrificus Totalus!"

Hermione was bound, then fell to the ground, totally frozen. Ron did the same to Draco, who had been to busy crying about his father and being a fucking pussy while Ron was talking.

"And that's for being a lame-ass," Ron spat at Draco. "Go get ass raped by the ghost of Cedric Diggory, Malfoy." Ron picked Hermione up and flung her over his shoulders, then stuck his wand back in his pocket. "Come on, Hermione, we're going to fix you."

***

Ginny, who had gotten over her newfound Gothness after realizing athletes can't be goth and she's supposed to marry Harry and have three dumbfuck kids with him, was sitting in the Room of Requirement with Harry. It looked quite like a muggle salon. Ron entered, locked the door, and unbound Ione at once, who began to protest, beating her fists against Ron.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way, Hermione," Ron said, her blows not registering with him. "You will be Hermione again. The real Hermione."

"No one likes a goth, Hermione," Harry said. Ginny nodded, agreeing.

"B-but...what about the Horcruxes, Harry?" Hermione sniffled.

"What about them?"

"We're supposed to be finding them and destroying them. Why are we back at Hogwarts?"

"Well, Voldemort realized his whole rid-the-world-of-muggles-and-muggleborn thing was stupid, and decided to open a chain of ice cream places in Diagon Alley, instead. He also came to terms that his dad was a muggle, and they're re-connecting. It was in the last issue of Witch Weekly."

"Oh," Hermione said.

"So let's get you fixed up," Ginny said, brandishing not scissors or hairdye, but a wand.

Hermione sighed. "Well, the incessant crying is starting to rip up my tear ducts."

"That's the spirit!"

"But guys..." Hermione sighed. "I do...I do really love Draco. I always have." She stared down at the ground. "I can't change that."

"But who will I marry, then?" Ron asked angrily.

They all shrugged. "No one, like your brother Charlie."

Ron thought about it. "Cool, I don't really want to be tied down, anyway. So let's get you fixed up," Ron said, clasping his hands together. "Ooh, I'd love to make your hair like it used to be, but put in some lowlights." He directed Hermione to a chair, threw an apron over her and swung her in front of the mirror. Harry and Ginny looked at eachother, now realizing Ron was gayer than all the inhabitants of Fire Island! The relationship with Lavender had all been a ruse! The marriage to Hermione was to be one of convienience!

"Actually, Ron, we do have someone in mind for you to marry," Harry said with a smile as Ron went to work on Hermione's hair.

_ONE MONTH LATER_

Hermione, Ron, Harry and Ginny sat happily together in the Great Hall, eating their delicious lunch and laughing while doing so. Hermione, back to normal, no makeup on her face, smiled and joked with fabulous Ron, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Her grades were back up, and her spirits were, too. Gryffindor house was pleased to be rid of their lone goth student. Draco, feeling embarrassed, had charmed his hair back to its normal white-blonde and learned to stop being such a goddamn pussy. He even worked up the nerve to ask Hermione on a date to the Three Broomsticks, which she happily accepted. Everything was going great. Ron even had somebody!

"Oh, here comes your boyfriend, Ron," Ginny murmured, watching the figure stride towards Ron's side of the table. It was Cedric Diggory's twin brother, Medric!

And Voldemort was bringing them all free samples of his newest flavor, Bat Bogey Delight!

Nothing at Hogwarts could be more perfect.


End file.
